The Upward Journey
Bourgeois's entire printed text for this volume appears on the pages cited below. The text is consistent throughout the documented books, although the page numbers vary slightly.
One's Sleep [artist’s hand]
Text 3 (with plate 1):
The blue fear.
Text 4 (with plate 2):
The pink fear.
I need sleep.
Text 6 (with plate 3):
The comfort object, always present,
Text 7 (with plate 4):
the color blue,
the circling of children.
Text 8 (with plate 5):
I need sleep.
Text 9 (with plate 6):
To listen to the breathing, to my stomach,
to my intestines. I want to listen to them,
to expose them, to think about them,
to welcome them, to wait for them,
to take care of them, like a good rested mother.
Text 10 (with plate 7 and 8):
Sleep to reach peace, the restoration of silence and of peace.
The defenses are worthless, they do not exist. Kindliness,
healthy breathing, forgetting and forgiving, to let go.
Leniency and charity are necessary for the arrival of sleep.
I want to give, to exude, to give to give, to exude.
Text 12 (with plate 9):
My sleep is disturbed. The house of fear. Apprehension.
I fear the future, but I am also afraid of the past.
Yes even the past, but also the present.
I am afraid of others, but mostly of myself.
Text 13 (with plate 10):
The fear to waste one's time,
the fear to waste one's luck,
the fear of the past;
The fear of the present,
the fear to love,
the fear of the future;
Text 14 (with plate 11):
The ransom, the cost, the effect of fear on others.
The fear that does not know itself.
Unaware and aware.
Text 15 (with plate 12 and 13):
The underground life of fear, what it becomes.
Text 16 (with plate 14):
The fear and the sugar, the adrenaline.
To have the energy and persistence to replace fear by trust.
Text 17 (with plate 15):
I'm going to wait until my breathing goes down and gets regularized, to yawn,
Text 18 (with plate 16):
to do one's nails, to comb the hair, to mend, to draw, to write one's journal.
Text 19 (with plate 17):
To lose one's way,
to lose one's friend,
to lose one's breath.
Text 22 (with plate 18):
Leave the house of fear, the window is open.